I’ve put my hair through pretty much everything, growing, chopping, curling, dying it every colour available. It left my hair in pretty bad shape and I ended up having to have a lot cut off it, I’ve never been one for short so this irritated me. However I couldn’t complain to much because it was my own doing. So I waited for my hair to recover and then opted for a standard weave. Little did I know it’s not as simple as just having it put in and the treating it like it’s your own hair.
1 – It’s hard work!
Extension upkeep is not the same as dealing with your own hair at a longer length. It takes time and effort and I’ve never had to brush my hair so much ever. Extensions create some sort of friction which means the not and tangle together easily as the rub on your clothes. It’s very hard to keep the back of the extensions looking like hair and not hay. It takes me around an hour each night to brush, condition and plait them in place to make sure they don’t get messed up over night, I then have to brush and straighten it every morning before I leave the house.
2- A perfect colour match is possible.
My hair is different shades of blonde at the minute, I never have it all a completely flat colour and because of that I’m never able to find clip in extensions to match. I worried that there would always be part of my hair the looked out of place, but if you find a good salon they should be able to match and dye your extensions properly. Let’s be honest, when you’re paying that much for your hair you want it to be perfect!
3- Getting the right products is so important.
This is one of those situations where your hairdressers try and up sell you stupidly expensive products to keep your hair looking fresh. However in this case you actually need the products, there is no point using normal shampoo and conditioner because the hair will matte together and knot. It also won’t leave it shiny and smooth. A solid leave in conditioner has been a must for me.
I’ve been using X-10 leave in treatment and it’s been a lifesaver, it goes on my hair multiple times a day, it stops it tangling, makes it smooth, smells amazing and is really cheap on Amazon.
I’m currently using Mukhair shampoo and conditioner on my extensions and L’Oréal expert repair on my real hair to keep it strong.
4- it is not cheap to keep
Everyone knows it’s expensive to buy the hair and have it put in, but there are other costs involved, as I mentioned, the products can be expensive. If you have your extensions in for more than 6 weeks you’ll need to get some maintenance done in the form of tightening, or having them taken out and the replanted, I tend to opt for the latter as it lasts longer, which costs over 100 each time. Add that on top of your normal hair cuts, colours etc, you come out with a hefty bill!
5- its 100% worth it.
I regret nothing about having them put in, I’ve noticed that being happy with my hair length has changed how confident I am and how happy I am with my appearance and I never want to go back. Plus when I look down and see my long blonde waves I feel like a princess.
So its been a long time since I’ve sat down to blog, and with that I’ve had loads of ideas of what I wanted to write about once I got my arse back into gear. The past few months have been a whirlwind with more ups and downs than I’d want in a year. That being said lets talk about an up!
As I have mentioned before, I have always been fat, I came out a fat baby and I just carried on getting bigger from there, I was 10 stone by the time I was 10, my heaviest weight was 18stone and that is where I found myself about ten months ago.
That being said, after university I became pretty confident in my size, I knew I was big but I excepted that was the way it was going to be, between the ages of 12 and 22 I tried every crash diet going, I did slimming world, I went to a dietician but nothing changed. I would lose weight and then put on more and get even bigger. So I’d fully given up on trying to lose weight.
Then I started getting stomach pain, not like run of the mill, this is a bit uncomfortable stomach pain but somebody stabbed me in the belly and I’m unable to move without throwing up stomach pain. I refused to go to the doctors for a ages because I thought I was been over dramatic, when I finally did they told me I had gallstones and would need to have my gallbladder removed, until then I could not eat foods with a high fat content. They also told me that gallstones in someone my age were often caused by being overweight. Thats when it dawned on me that it was ok to be body confident, but the weight I had let myself get to was now hindering my health and causing me a lot of issues. So I decided to set about loosing weight, with the added motivation that if I ate anything with fat in it I’d be in pain for days anyway. I completely cut fat out of my diet, which unless you suffer with gallbladder pain I wouldn’t recommend, but after that I saw the weight start to drop off me and that motivated me even more. Since I set about losing weight Ive lost 5 stone, 3 dress sizes and even 3 bra sizes (much to my dismay) but I also learnt some surprising things about myself along the way, so I thought I’d share them with you below.
- I felt worse before I felt better
After I lost the first couple of stone I felt worse about myself than I had done before losing it. I struggled with what to wear and was more conscious about looking fat than I had been previously. It took me hours to leave the house on some days. I had built my identity around being big and being ok with it so loosing weight I felt like I was loosing part of myself.
2. I sleep less now.
I could always over sleep, I could sleep for 10 hours and not wake up naturally, having 8 hours never seemed like enough. I mainly put that down to depression, however since losing weight I sleep a normal amount of time, my body just seems less exhausted now its dragging less weight around with it.
3. I am more confident in my own ability.
I always thought I had become a more confident person since leaving school, despite my size. Since loosing weight I realize that wasn’t true and my size was still holding me back in unrelated areas. I am more confident to show of my talents, to take charge and to do a whole load of things since losing weight.
4. I actually like exercise.
I’m a gym person, who knew?
5. Motivation fluctuates.
This is the longest I’ve stayed on track before, and as a result I weigh less no than I did when I was 13. However, I still have 3 stone to lose before I reach my goal weight (worked out by being comfortable in a healthy BMI range) and the motivation is thin, now the logical determination has to take over instead, and its hard work!
Family can be great, it can also be terrible.
The closest people in the world to us can be the people we fear, the people we love and the people we loose.
My family relationships have often been turbulent, I didn’t grow up with my biological family. Although I knew them all well all through my life (other than my biological father), despite that I believe when it comes to family my adopted grandparents, the people who brought me up, the people I refer to as mum and dad are everything I needed, wanted and could of dreamed of.
My Father is kind, generous, sweet and a fighter. He has always put me first and taught me how to live the best life I can. When I went on my first holiday at 11 months old it was my dad behind the camera taking hundreds of photos of everything. When I went to primary school it was my dad who told me to be proud. When I got into university it was my dad who cried out of being proud but not wanting to let me go. When I got my Job, it was my dad who bragged about it to everyone he could find.
Despite all of that, Fathers day is bitter sweet. My dad passed away 18 months ago.
Eighteen months seems a long and also a very short time. It is enough time for me to have recovered from the grief. Its long enough that life seems like its some how normal again. I think about my dad, but not every day. I can remember all the things he has done for me and how much I love him without crying.
But it also means that this is only my second fathers day without a father, and grief comes back in waves. My mum and dad always spoke to me about there age, how really they were not my blood parents and were older, so I should be prepared for them to leave me at an earlier age than most people. My dad died at the age of 81. He lived a long, happy and exciting (to say the least) life. But nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent.
Nothing can prepare you for the phone call, the funeral, the grief or living missing one of the most important people in your life.
So for those of you whose Fathers day looks a little different. To the others visiting a headstone rather than a house, or hiding away instead of celebrating, or just feeling sad. Today is just another day that might be little harder, you are not on your own. Grief can come in waves, sometimes ripples but on days like today it can feel more of a tsunami. Thats OK.
A parent lost is not the end of the memories, the thoughts or the loving relationship.
Take care of yourself. Feel your emotions. Ask for help if you need it.
If you are really struggling with Bereavement and need some extra support, you can find specialist services here.
Word on the grapevine is it’s the last day of mental health awareness week today. As you all know I’m very vocal about the subject but I’ve been so busy the last few months I’ve let all the awareness weeks and blog posts pass me by. However there is an area of mental health that’s been on my mind more than normal recently.
In the past few months I’ve lost a lot of weight and the weathers got warmer, it’s put me in some new situations. Like the gym changing rooms, going to work in shorter sleeves tops, being happier in my appearance to wear shorter dresses or skirts, preparing my holiday wardrobe. I’ve been more and more aware of the scars my mental health battles have left me with. I’ve been disheartened that no matter what I do my skin will look like this. I’ve been paranoid that despite loosing weight I’ll never feel beautiful because of the mess I created on my own body. I’ve felt I will always be bored because I won’t be able to do the career I want to do due to my appearance.
I’ve never been one to be embarrassed of my scars, I’ve always shown them and refused to cover them up just for day to day life so this has been a new battle for me. I’ve been lucky, I’ve never faced negative comments or patronising actions as a result like so many people have, but it doesn’t stop my mind turning over the different view points and wondering what to people think of me in the street when they see it. So I’ve had to start a new journey of acceptance, like so many people do. I have recovered from self harm, from what is an addiction and I have learned to be proud of that. My battle with it started when I was 12 and didn’t stop becoming a regular occurrence until I was 24. Even now I remember the first time I found it and wish I could go back in time and warn myself what an issue it became, I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop, to ask for help and that it does get better. Because it does get better.
But it only gets better if we all play our part. It only gets better if we care about each other.
It only gets better if we act as a community, a support system.
It only gets better if we meet the needs we see.
It only gets better when we stop judging and love instead.
It only gets better if we make it better.
Self harm is not an uncommon symptom of mental health conditions yet it seems to be talked about as a teenage girl issue.
But did you know?
– 1 in 10 people self harm
– self harm does not only refer to cutting, it refers to anything done deliberately to harm yourself such as burning, hair pulling, overdosing, drinking and picking skin
– there are multiple reasons for self harm not everyone feels the same or gets the same out of it
– people who self harm are 50x more likely to attempt suicide
– self harm can cause scarring, numbness and even paralysis
– self harm is known to be addictive
Do you have scares? Did you know?
-there is a charity called changing faces, you can refer yourself or your doctor can refer you, they will provide you with a consultation and give you a high coverage foundation not available to buy on prescription to cover your scares.
-if your worried about the summer showing off your scares, having a tan makes scar tissue more obvious as the scars will stay the same colour
-if you want to cover up scars with tattoos some tattoo shops will discount cover ups for self harm, if you feel confident enough to explain the situation
-don’t feel the need to cover up, 1 in 10 self harm and I’ve had a lot of people come up to me that I don’t know and thank me for being real enough to show them
-you don’t have to tell anyone how you got your scares, most people will know without asking and are only asking to open up the conversation either for unhelpful or helpful reasons. One of my favourite responses is ‘I was attached by a shark’ in a serious setting where it’s in appropriate to answer with the truth I go with ‘I got hurt a long time ago’ because it’s not a lie but not upfront about it.
Do you know someone who self-harms? Did you know?
– telling someone to stop can be dangerous. You aren’t a professional and don’t know the reasons why, putting pressure on to stop may lead to the person doing even more damage to themselves.
-removing all the sharp items will not necessarily stop a person self harming but may make them use whatever they can find, which is often more dangerous.
-most crisis lines will talk to concerned friends/family/carers and offer advice to you not only the person in crisis.
-your GP has seen it all before, don’t be scared to ask for help
-asking about self harm will not make someone do it if they don’t already, don’t be scared of having the conversation.
Welcome to April!
I’m so excited that it’s April, mainly because I’m hoping for some sun. I love all things summer so Spring is where I come into my element and I’ve felt that with my make up picks over the past month. I thought I’d share my favourites from March with you guys.
I committed to not spending too much money this month because I’m a bit of a shopping addict, so most of my picks are budget. Because of that I’ve fallen in love with make up revolution highlighters and eye palettes.
I’ve inserted four new highlighters into my collection this month. They were all £5 each. The pigmentation is incredible, much better than you would expect from the price. The Anastasia Beverly Hills Glow kits are the only other highlighters I’ve had that you can the glow of in normal lighting. These highlighters are so aesthetically pleasing, I particularly love how bleeding heart look in its box. I never use blush, so having a highlight with pink tones running through has helped me out! I’m also so impressed with the volume of product you get for the price.
I also added 4 palettes to my collection. I read and saw on Instagram so many good things about the make up revolution chocolate palettes. To be honest I’ve avoided them because I don’t like the packaging, I find it really tacky. But I saw so much stuff about the mint chocolate palette so I took the plunge and I love it. Again I was so surprised at the pigments in the for the price (£8.99 each). I then go the chocolate orange set. I love how blend-able they are and the looks I can create with them. I used nothing but those palettes for the first 2 weeks after I got them. Since then I’ve also got the 24k gold and the rose gold palettes, I haven’t used these as much but they were still well worth the money. If you’re looking for an alternative for Anastasia Subculture, mint chocolate is the one for you. Some of the shades in the chocolate orange palette resemble the Urban Decay Heat palette. If you don’t want to spend to much I’d go for these!
I’ve had these two foundations in my collection for a while but didn’t initially love them. However since the seasons changed I’ve found these to be perfect. The miracle touch foundation is a mouse and comes with a sponge to apply. It’s light weight and medium coverage and so easy to apply. It’s a real spring foundation, the colour is a perfect match for me. The powder I bought alongside it is a foundation on its own, but when added to the miracle touch it boosts the coverage while still making it feel light weight.
I didn’t believe all the hype about Jeffree Star products however they are super long wear and I fell in love just for that. This is my go to shade Candyass. I bought is when the spring collection went on sale last year and I’ve recently cracked it back out again. It’s a proper 90s pink shimmer but with the long wear and pigments of a matte lipstick.
I’ve finally collected all the Urban Decay Vice lip toppers. I added these 2, the final 2 to my collection and I love them. They sit on top of a base colour and add some sparkle and hold the base colour in place, they are everything!
Check out my YouTube to find out more of my non Beauty related favourites
Shopping is probably my favorite thing in the world. If it were a sport I might actually take up exercise and be good at it. Some days I’ll get into a clothes shop and love it, I’ll buy everything and feel great but sometimes it’s not that simple. Being plus size and trying to navigate around the high street can be stressful. I remember when I was about 14 I wrote a bucket list, safe to say most of the things on it I haven’t achieved and no longer want to but one of the things on that list was to build I wardrobe that I loved and outfits I was happy with and I finally think I’ve achieved that. So I thought I’d take a minute to look at the pros and cons of plus size shopping.
Lets start with some pros!
- I’ve noticed in the last few years more and more brands have started plus size ranges or increasing the sizes of the normal ranges. There are more options and although there is a long way to go, high street fashion is becoming an inclusive hobby. At one point I struggled to find anything that fit that wasn’t hideous, but with the changed in shops marketing I feel happy to walk into the shops I love and feel confident that the piece thats in the window will be stocked in my size.
- Plus size clothing is, generally, the same price as other clothing now. I remember when I was younger the frustration would come as I saw the price increase with the sizes. Being honest, (tongue in cheek) plus size clothes do use more material so in a way I’m getting more for my money.
- Online shopping is becoming a bigger and bigger industry and most online stores stock plus sizes, so the options for browsing and spending money I don’t have have become more and more.
- There are more and more influencers, singers, actors and public figures who are plus sized and advocate with clothing ideas and inspirations. The amount of female, plus size role models to get ideas from or just pave the way in fashion is growing, I love that!
But here are some Cons and my general pet hates.
- PLEASE! stop sizing things in S,M,L,XL etc. It doesn’t help anybody, let alone plus size women to find the right size. While were on size brackets the 8-10, 12-14,16-18 way of sizing doesn’t help either, what if I need a 14-16? I am confident in myself and I want to show that in my clothing. I don’t want to have to guess whether an L is going to drown me, or whether a 16-18 is going to make me look like I’m bulging out of my clothes like an overflowing bing-bag.
- Sizes vary everywhere! In River Island I buy a 16, In Primark I go for a 20. I’ve learnt my size in each shop, but I shouldn’t need to, surly it should be universal? The thing I find worse is when a shop stocks up to a 14 in ‘normal’ clothes but there plus sizes start at an 18-20. What about the middle bit?
- Lets be honest, not all plus size ranges are positive, some have hideous clothes. Just because I’m fat I don’t want to have jeans with a waistband that meets my bra. I don’t want to live in a black T-shirt with a token flower. Why can’t the ‘normal’ clothes just be made bigger rather than designers thinking ‘this person’s fat, I know what they want, all black, shapeless garments that resemble a duvet cover with some buttons down the middle.’
That being said, you definitely can find some great buys. Here are my favourite most recent purchases!
If you want some shopping inspiration, I’ve found the best plus size ranges recently to be
- Boohoo Curve
- River Island
And, you may disagree but the ranges I hate shopping the most
- New Look Plus
- Asos Plus
Have you checked out my Instagram, twitter and youtube?
And, if you’re interested in Mental Health why not check out my second blog.
Around a year ago I moved home to live with my mum again after my dad passed away. It was also when I became more involved in blogging and youtube. I went from having a full house to set myself up in to only having my bedroom to use as a bedroom, office and filming space and I faced the challenge of finding space to set myself up properly.
I have quite a large room and I found by making a few simple changes I was able to fit everything in and make it look pretty. So I thought I’d share them with you!
As you walk in my bedroom door this is what you see. The first noticeable thing is the wardrobe space! I love having the amount of space I do, although it is almost full now. Having the bigger wardrobes means that I don’t have any need for draws and so I can maximize floor space. Having overhead cupboards has really helped me, I can organize things I don’t often use and stop them cluttering my room.
The next thing I rearranged was the position of my bed. The bed is meant to go under the overhead cupboards however by moving it out of the way and into the very corner of my room I created a cute mini – space for filming.
With the space being tucked away it means I can leave out my spotlights, stool and other props and they are not in the middle of the room waiting to be fallen over. My backdrop was created really easily, using a primark bedsheets and fairy lights. It cost around £11 to create. Above my backdrop are images of people who inspire the most in each field I’m interested in, music, acting, influencers and musicals.
There are shelves in the same space and I like to fill them with pretty things! Mainly because I love it when my room looks cute but also because if I film at a certain angle, these shelves are in shot. I love these candles, Fig Blossom was £4 in Primark and the tall candle was £10 in New Look.
On the right hand side of my room is my make up stash! I used to have all my make-up in closed draws but I found that I had so many products I loved but never used because they were at the back of a draw and out of site. I swapped over to these shelves and now I use all of it because I can see what I have. Having shelves also gives a room a much more open feeling than chests of draws. it also gives me another space to put up some pictures/props.
On the opposite wall to where I film I have a feature wall, you can kind of see it on the photo above. It is also where my office like space it, computer, printer stationary etc. Its always messy looking and my computer table is an old dressing table I can’t bring myself to through away. This is the area I need to do some work on next. The thing I love most about its positioning is that it is next to my bed. So once I’ve finished working I can move the monitor round, out on Netflix and get into bed!
And on my bed is where you find my doggy, not an important note… but a cute one!
Welcome to my new space!
As February rolled on by I made a decision that I have been debating for a while now, time for a relaunch! I have debated the pros and cons since last year and decided that it was time to commit, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to explain to you guys why I made the change and who I am.
Those of you who have followed me on any of my platforms will know I’ve been around a bit, but I started all my platforms at different times. Firstly I began youtube, then created my instagram, a while after that I started to blog and use twitter. I love using all the social media platforms I use but they never felt coherent, yes, they all have the same name but there was not much else that felt consistent. Starting over means I get to relaunch everything at the same time and feel they are all intertwined and I am hoping that will motivate me to stay on top of regular posts on all my platforms.
I have started to see my outreach grow, which I am so grateful for but I feel with that I need to be putting in more of an effort in my content, so this is kind of a, Ok lets stop half arseing your way through and invest some time and energy into this. All my videos and blogging started out as fun, it still is fun and I love it but I often think about where this would go if I committed myself to it. So here I am committing.
My name started to irritate me, like Fat Fashion Films is all well and good but its also very rare these days that I purely talk about fashion. What I do talk about is, well, everything. So I decided to make a new name based on what I actually do a lot, which is talk.
To be honest, I am not only having a fresh start in the blogosphere, I’m having one personally as well. The past six months have been really strange ones, and not in a fun way, so I decided what better than pretending it never happened and coming back stronger? Social Media has become a massive part of my life, like it has for most people my age, so I had to include that in my cliched new beginnings commitments.
Who am I?
Well, if I knew that I’d save a lot of money on therapy!
I’m joking, but whatever the context that question is used in it always feels like a climax moment in some philosophical film.
Who I am is a creative type. I did a degree in performing arts, got a job and then became desperate for a creative outlet, which is where my youtube channel came in. Then I created all the things to go with it. I work in residential care full time. I am not paid for the online work I do. Which means I post when I want to about things that interest me. Those things can be anything and I’m hoping for more variety in my posts. I write a lot about hauls and beauty, I post music every so often and until recently I ran a mental health blog which I am now combining into this one. Things I hope to introduce throughout this year are reviews based around arts, general lifestyle posts and travel, again coming back to needing to change my user names, as fashion wasn’t cutting it anymore!
So, to kick things off and reintroduce myself, heres a little bloggers get to know me tag!
- Are you named after anyone?
My first name, Naomi is from the bible. It was specifically chosen as a biblical name because my parents are religious. My second name is Kathleen, after my great grandma, I never met her so I can’t tell you if thats a compliment or not.
- Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Yes, way to much, I often have to tell people if I’m being serious or not because no one can tell.
- What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home?
- Do you have any special talents?
I can sing and play guitar, I can also pop my hip in and out of its socket, but only my left one, the same with my thumb.
- Do you have any siblings?
There are loads of us! I am the oldest of 6, I have three brothers aged 25, 22 and 20 and two sisters aged 12 and 10.
- Who was your first best friend?
My first best friend was called Melanie, we were friends from play school, so I guess 2 or 3 and we are still friends now, although don’t get to see each other much.
- What was your favorite/worst subject in High School?
Mmmmm my favorite subject was Sociology but we didn’t start that until year 10, before that it was probably art, I actually really enjoyed maths because I got to sit next to one of my favorite people and piss around the whole time. Somehow I still got a B. My worst subject was probably science, in particular chemistry I just found it really dull and never understood it.
- Who are some of your favorite influencers?
I love so many, the first ones that sparked my interest years ago were Tanya Burr and Zoella so I still kind off feel a loyalty to them. The ones I never miss a video from are Just Jodes, Jenna Marbles and Grace Helbig.
- What fictional place would you most like to go?
- What job do you think you’d be really good at?
I actually thing I’d be amazing in sales, I can sell things and bullshit easily haha. I’d hate actually doing it though.
- Are you usually early or late?
I normally arrive early then wait in my car until I’m exactly on time because the whole arriving places thing gets me paranoid.
- Who’s your go to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to?
Frank Turner, hes been my favorite artist since I was about 15.
- What have you only recently formed an opinion about?
Feminism, I grew up in a really traditional and religious environment and loved it and believed everything I was told. I believed traditional female roles were the way to go and its only in the past couple of years that I’ve thought about what I really thing about it. Safe to say present Naomi hates past Naomi.
- What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?
In relation to the above, the pros and cons of religious involvement.
- What’s the best thing that happened to you last week?
I got offered an audition for an agency.
- What’s the best way to start the day?
Grapefruit, coffee and an arrow word.
- What are you most likely to become famous for?
In a dream world i’d say singing, in reality doing something stupid and ending up in a metro Facebook article.
- What Music artist have you only recently discovered but love?
Will Varley. I’d heard the name so much but never actually listened, then it played on one of my youtube automated playlists and well, I’m in love.
- What do you spend the most time thinking about?
Aesthetics, my own, social medias, my room, my organisation, how can everything just look pretty?
- What are you most looking forward to in the next month?
This relaunch, obvs!